ADDICTIONS

This might come a bit surprising to the world….but I do know a thing or two about addictions. It doesn’t matter what your addictions are, thing is the resulting effect is the same. Actually….scratch that, it does matter the difference between addictions, some could cause you to end up dead quicker than others.

That’s beside the point of this by the way. What I really am trying to say is, the whole point of an addiction is that it removes your thoughts in that period from the reality of your reality. I mean, who doesn’t want that...to run away...only thing we forget though, when we indulge in those addictions is that….it’s only temporal. No matter how long we hide behind those addictions, reality always has a way of catching up real quick. The moment the effect of the addiction wears off, reality comes flooding in faster than light.

I don’t like addictions, but I have them. I think we all do too. It’s not necessarily something we love, but it started out that way, ever so honestly, slowing creeping its way in, demanding more time, more of everything, more of you until it consumes you and makes your life ever so meaningless. The thing about an addiction is that it becomes an illegal gateway to your mind, your body and ever so dangerously…your spirit. It contends with your beliefs, your standards, everything that makes you you. It causes you to battle with your identity, your sanity, even your love…for the most important people to you. It slowly magnifies itself, changing forms, boosting your ability to run…to run away from life, until finally your run off that cliff. I wonder what stage you are now, personally I’m not waiting to find out.

Hold up!!!! Biko….biko!!!!...it’s not that deep!

But think, really think and see….it is that deep! 

Whether its sex or alcohol or drugs….or something ever so seemingly irrelevant like movies, sleep or partying. It is an addiction, it’s the reason for indulging that makes them what they are, not the very thing in themselves. And for each one of them, they all need a rehabilitation to get rid of – a certain infusion of truth. It’s unfortunate they have those centers for drugs and alcohol and not much else.
But I do have Yahweh, and with Him, impossible is nothing and nothing is impossible. What do you have? Because if you think you are enough….then my friend, you are a high speed train…on overdrive (you just don’t know it yet), and at the end of those tracks no matter where you turn lies one certainty…..Death!

But life is beautiful, it’s so easy not to see. In truth, there’s only one way you can see…through the eyes The Creator. Now, this might be a truth, you either don’t want to come to terms with or you don’t know how. It is the truth all the same – exclusively and not relative.
So addictions are at the end of the day a shadow, unreal and dark. That is, only when we are misaligned with The Sun.
I can be extreme, I know….but is there really such a thing as balance.

Lost Daughter Of Elyon

She's 54 and 29 yet 17.

She doesn't now how much You love her, how You never left her, how You'd never let her go.

O that she would know that her horrid past could not keep Your love from her.

Lord show her, open her eyes even just a little to see that no man could love her the way You do, that no man's love could ever satisfy her heart as Yours would

Can't she see Lord, that You loved her with Your life, You loved her unto death and you forever will.

Can she see Abba? Can she?

Can she see what You see, what I see, that she is the High Queen. 

Look Abba, I know You see and You ache

You see how she's bent over, torn within, tears without

Overwhelmed by all she's lost, by who she lost

She grieves, unknown to her that nothing is ever lost

She grieves, groping in darkness, frantic, searching for light, searching for love

O show her Abba that You are her everlasting light,

O show her Abba that You alone are Love she seeks

Little does she now that it is You she has sought all these years Father. 

Show her....That always and eternally,

She is the Daughter of Elyon, Beloved of the Most High King..

...His Kingdom come...

Its a time of death, yet life

It's a time sorrow, yet laughter

It's a time of pains yet bliss

It's a time of poverty yet riches

What time is it?

It's a time of drought, yet rains

It's a time of hunger, yet fill

It's a time of fire, yet ice

It's a time of darkness, yet light

What time is it?

It's the time of disease,yet health

It's the time of barrenness yet fruitfulness

It's the time of storms,yet peace

It's the time of terror yet glee

What time is it?

It's a time of hate, yet love

A time of bitterness, yet sweet

A time of tragedy, yet victory

A time of depression, yet joy

What time is it?

Evil has lived long enough

The people have groaned long enough

The King has been silent long enough

What time is it?

There will be a casting, yet a lifting

There will be a crushing, yet a building

There will be destruction, yet creation

What time is it?

It's the time of the Kingdom

Now is come the Kingdom of our God and the power of His Christ

For the accuser of the brethren is cast down

......if any man hath an ear, let him hear.......

THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS HERE!!!!!!!!

Dear Dad

What do I do when my heart has a mind of it's own and won't let go
What do I do when my mind keeps running through the same thoughts intermittently
What do I do when my heart won't listen to the wisdom of my head
Father what do I do.

What do I do when my heart says no
What do I do when I still reel with feelings I shouldn't have
What do I when how I feel doesn't make sense
Father what do I do

What do I do when my head and heart are in constant debacle
What do I do when I've tried all I can
What do I do when wisdom of the heart eludes me
Father how do I let go

The only common ground between my heart and my head is you
I trust you with all I know, all I have, and all I am
I trust that you have back
I trust that you love me so
I trust that everything is under your control- my heart my head my soul
I trust that you are God
I trust that you are my father too
I trust you to take care of me

I know what to do Father, I trust you.

Heart on Canvas

If I could pour out my heart on canvas,

 it'd be a wheel of spirals, colours blending together but each one distinctly bulging out. There'd be colours that can only be mixed in heavens colour shop.

There'd be candy floss pink, storm blue, cloud gray, flushed magenta and a heavenly white.

There'd be splashes of moss green and coal black, touches of fine red, coarse beige, pure gold and stained yellow. There'd be a heavenly flow of butter scotch red and grass brown, crystal, violet and orange too.

 There'd be tomato white and carrot red, orange purple and spinach blue. River red, sky pink and mountain gold. Sunrise lavender and rose green, fire black and water cream.

There'd be joy, sadness, peace, storm.

There'd be sane, insane, wisdom and folly.

 There'd be laughter, tears, aches and scars.

There'd be pain, grief, ecstasy and bliss.

Above all, there'd be a flood of love, and you know what I think, it does cover a multitude if sins.

The Mystery of Me

You see a lot of me but you still can't describe me
You hear a lot if what I say but you still don't understand me
You watch the decisions I make but you still can't predict me
Don't worry it's the mystery of me.

I tell you who I am but you still don't hear
I show you who I am but you still don't see
I write who I am but you still can't read me
Don't worry it's the mystery of me

Like the magnificence of the ocean
Like the vastness of the sky
Like the tranquility of the dessert
Don't worry it's the mystery of me

Like the mysteries of the forest
Like the mysteries of life's cycle
Like the mystery of the universe
Don't worry it's the mystery of me

I'm not asking you to hear me
I'm not asking you to see me
I'm not asking you to read me
Just know, it's the mystery of me

It's the glory of God to conceal a thing
It's the honour of kings to search it out
If you are my king then,
You must understand the mystery of me

Happy 1st October

 Happy 1st October
I woke up this morning to embark on a journey, a journey that'll only last a day. I walk from my flat in a medium cost housing estate in which the cost of living there is gradually escalating even though the facilities which are almost non existent are gradually deteriorating. I have to walk a few metres to the busstop because I do nor have car although I pass through a garage of six cars belonging to one man or rather boy just a few years older than I am, i won't have wondered at his wealth if he didnt stay home on his computer all day doing God knows what. People say it's 'yahoo' and I'm puzzled, does he work for yahoo or something?.  Anyway I get to the busstop and I'm wondering what school kids are doing hanging around the busstop because closing time is a long way off and every one that age is in class. Out of concern I pull one of them aside and he gives me this look of disdain characteristic of Ill-brought up kids, I ask him why he is not in class at this time of day and just before running off he tells me that their teacher has not been in class for the past week and the principal can't be bothered. I get in the rickety old bus that is definitely in no condition to be on the road driven by a man who thinks he's sitting behind the wheels of a 2009 maybach model, shouting at anyone and every driver on the rode who annoys him even a little not considering the fact that he himself is breaking a hundred and one traffic rules. On my way i look out the cracked window enjoying the view of crammed neigjborhoods and structures at everything turn. Before long, the bus comes to slow stop and we aré greeted by a barricade of policemen who seem to be collecting some kind of of duty from the driver but i'm wondering why no receipt is being issued.....strange! Anyway before long we are on our way again. We travel for another one hour because of the numerous potholes and the irresponsibility of Nigerian drivers because most have no clue of the most basic of traffic rules. I finally arrive at my destination, as I scream 'owa' I am made to jump down from the moving vehicle just when I thought o should be angry, the bus conductor yells insults after me for being slow and such an 'ajebota'. I've barely walked five minutes before i'm startled by the sound of a wailing mother, her child has been missing for days and the police stand around helpless. My heart mourns for her. I keep walking and I keep passing men, women, and children whose livelihood is begging on the streets, I'm appalled at their standard of leaving. I give some of them money but how much can I give, I also wonder why people pass without giving even a little money. I stop someone to ask and he tells me that some of them are paid to help ritualists 'jazz' and kidnapp unsuspecting victims. At this point I couldn't have been more disturbed. I keep walking anyway, I stop by in a hospital pharmacy to pick up some medication and i'm puzzled at the darkness of the hallways, I ask a nurse why the lights are off, she looks at me like I fell off the moon and replied 'what do you mean what happened to the light?, NEPA has taken light now' and then she adds 'maybe they'll bring it later at night if they are happy'. I stare at her in disbelief as she walks off obviously ticked off by my question. On my way out I see a line up of patients obviously in emergency conditions waiting for 'God knows what', I walk out saddened. Anyway I continue on my journey, I pass through a local government office where voting exercise is taking place and I stop by briefly observing the process and I observe 2 voters in some kind of dilema, wondering if I could help i advance towards them but I stop in my tracks because their trying to figure out who to vote for based on how much they'd been given by the candidates and who is most likely to share something they called the 'national cake', just as I was leaving, someone hurriedly brushed pass me and as I recover from the shock of almost toppling over I see a group of men running off into the distance with some ballot boxes, I thought it ridiculous because armed officials were standing close by and didn't even so much as chase them, at this point I honestly expected someone so come out and shout 'smile, you're on candid camera!!' or 'you've just been punked!' but after 10 minutes it dawned on me that it was 'realer' than reality. I kept walking and after about 5 minutes I reached my destination, it was an orphanage home overfilled with kids that had no parents who loved them, no home, no glimmer of hope in their eyes, and seemingly no future. I drop all the things I brought for them spend time with them listening at the dreams they nuture in their heart but with no hope because they do not see how they can get good education seeing that the public schools they attend does not avail them and even when they do finish school, no matter how brilliant they are,  'making it' in this country has now become a thing of who you know. I express my love to them in tears and as I return to my humble abode I ask myself one question, 'Is this my home?'.